Let’s start with the answer: pre-wedding shoot nerves usually melt away within the first 30 minutes. And loosening you up isn’t your job — it’s ours, as your photographers.So come exactly as nervous as you are — that’s fine. This article, written by the photographer behind the camera, explains what actually happens on set during those “30 minutes.”
Hi, I’m Stephen Nakamura, a photographer at Libars. When couples come to us about pre-wedding shoots, there’s one line I hear more than any other: “I’m excited, but I know I’ll get nervous.” This article is for anyone who’s ever said that.
The Couple Who Started Out the Most Nervous of All
There’s one couple I’ll never forget — a shoot at a small train station in Hyogo, with the sea in view. When the bride arrived, she was frozen stiff, in the literal sense. All she managed to say was, “I’m excited… but I’m so nervous,” and then her expression just locked up. Her groom gently took her arm, and they started walking from the station square.
Thirty minutes later, that same bride was laughing her way up a hillside street. By the end, she was pressed flat against a seaside breakwater, grinning and clearly wanting to climb it. Partway through, a shopkeeper lent us an umbrella, and a passerby called out “Congratulations!” as we walked past. I doubt she could even tell you when her nerves disappeared.
I’ve watched this same shift happen hundreds of times. One couple I shot at Inokashira Park kept saying “I’m so nervous!” as we walked from the station, and by the time we reached the park, they were completely at ease. During a food-tour shoot in Kawagoe, a couple who’d been fidgeting with nerves and shyness changed the moment they took a single bite of sweet potato pie. So I can say this with confidence: nerves always show up at the start of a shoot — and they always disappear before it’s over.
What I’m Actually Doing on Set
Here’s the trick: I deliberately borrow techniques from stand-up comedy during shoots — light teasing, unexpected gaps, playful twists on what someone just said. I never ask people to smile, because a smile you’re told to make and a smile that just slips out look completely different in a photograph.
The other thing I do is simply keep people moving. Walking. Running. Spinning around, even dancing a little. Dancing might sound strange for a wedding photo, but here’s the thing: people freeze up when they stop to pose. Someone who’s moving can’t freeze.
I later found out this lines up with something psychologists call the facial feedback hypothesis: it’s not always emotion first, expression second. Sometimes the body moves, and the feeling follows. I discovered this on set long before I knew the theory behind it, but every single shoot proves the same rule — thinking makes you tense, moving loosens you up.
I also borrow the power of food. For one couple, we shot in a neighborhood they used to hang out in, and started the whole session at a McDonald’s — grabbing a bite before anything else. We photographed them feeding each other fries, even washing their hands afterward, and then headed out for a walk. Someone who’s eating can’t think about the camera. Nerves simply don’t get the chance to do their work.
That First Stiff Photo? We Shoot It On Purpose
This might surprise you, but I take just as much care shooting those first few minutes, when expressions are still a little stiff, as I do the rest of the day.
That first-day-of-shooting freshness only exists in the first ten minutes — it never comes back. When you flip through the finished album in order, that slightly stiff smile on the first page is exactly what makes the big laugh on the later pages land. It’s the opening line of a story that says, “and just five minutes later, they were already laughing.” Nerves aren’t a mistake — they’re simply part of the day.
So there’s no need to practice poses beforehand. In fact, a rehearsed pose can get in the way once we’re shooting on the move. If I could ask for just one thing, it would be this: talk to each other beforehand about places that matter to you, and one thing you’d like to try. It could be the restaurant from your first date, a bathhouse you both love, even your dog. That becomes the day’s route — and it leaves no room for nerves to creep in.
There was one couple who smiled the entire day, as if their pre-shoot nerves had never existed. The reason was simple: their route that day was built around something they’d genuinely been looking forward to — lunch at a café they’d wanted to try for ages. Instead of adding fun to the shoot, the shoot tagged along with something fun they already had planned. Flip that order, and we can handle the rest on the day.
If Your Partner Hates Having Their Photo Taken
We often hear things like, “I’m excited, but my husband hates having his photo taken.” Don’t worry — we’ve shot plenty of couples who almost never take photos in everyday life.
The trick is making the day feel like it’s not really about the photos. Snacking our way through a neighborhood, visiting places that matter to you, stopping by favorite shops — we design it so it feels less like “a photo shoot” and more like “we went on a date and happened to get photographed.” Even during solo shots, we keep the other partner standing right behind the camera, so no one is ever left to face it alone.
If you’re still worried, take a look at our reviews on Photorait — 4.9 stars across 87 reviews, with plenty of comments like “I was nervous, but it turned out to be so much fun” (see the review page). From what we’ve seen behind the camera, the more nervous someone tends to be, the better this move-while-you-shoot style suits them.
Frequently Asked Questions
▸▸Q. If my face freezes up from nerves, what happens to those photos?
A. Expressions always change over the course of a shoot, so it’s completely fine to have a stiff stretch early on. In practice, most couples are a little tense for the first 10 to 30 minutes, and natural expressions increase from there. We deliver the full range of that change in your final gallery, so even the stiff shots become part of the story.
▸▸Q. I’m just too embarrassed being photographed in public. Is there a plan with fewer people around?
A. Yes. Starting on a weekday morning, routing mostly through back alleys and parks, and combining that with venues you can book privately (like a bathhouse or café) can cut down on onlookers quite a bit. That said, we also hear from plenty of couples that busy areas actually felt easier — nobody was paying attention to them at all — so we can adjust based on how you’re feeling on the day.
▸▸Q. Is there anything we should practice before the day?
A. No need to practice poses or smiles. All we ask is that you talk together beforehand about places that matter to you as a couple, and one thing you’d like to try. That conversation becomes the day’s route — and the content of your photos.
Read the Full Day, Shoot by Shoot, on note
The shoots for the couples in this article are each written up in full on note. If you’d like to see, in photos, exactly how their nerves melted away, follow the links below.
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